


Not Broken Just Bent

by goddess_julie



Series: But I Know Yes I Know (We'll Be Alright) [12]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Gender Changes, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Artificial Insemination, F/F, F/M, Kid!Fic, Kidfic, girl!Niall, girl!Zayn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-08
Updated: 2015-01-08
Packaged: 2018-03-06 18:08:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,509
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3143690
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/goddess_julie/pseuds/goddess_julie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Micah is 8 months old and while Niall is exhausted, more tired than she's ever been before, she's not too tired to know that something is going on.  Liam and Zayn are hiding something from her and as hard as she tries to think rationally and not overreact, it's getting harder to maintain a level head.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not Broken Just Bent

**Author's Note:**

> This is the final part I have pre written. I was going to finish with Micah being born but then the last two parts popped into my head and it's still going. There may be more, I'm not sure. Time will tell.
> 
> Any/all feedback is welcome. Thanks for the support you've all given me thus far. xo

Niall knows that she's been tired lately. Extremely tired and her mind is whirring a million miles a minute at any moment of the day. With extreme exhaustion there are often hallucinations. Sometimes it's just your mind playing tricks with you and making you feel or sense things that are distorted by the exhaustion. She's become adept at holding off on reacting about something until she knows she's in a frame of mind where she can think rationally. It's taken her a little longer than she'd anticipated shedding the baby weight she had amassed when carrying Micah, but when she's got him in her arms, his bright blue eyes staring up at her like she's the most important person in his entire world, Niall can't be arsed to care about her weight.

Or the bags that have taken permanent residence under her eyes. Or the way she doesn't mind her appearance as much as she knows she should, often opting for a pair of trackies a roomy tee shirt and throwing her hair up in a messy ponytail. If there's one thing she's learned in the last eight months, Micah loves her hair. Or any hair really that he can get his pudgy little hands around and tug. The louder you scream in pain, the happier it makes him until you're giving him your hair just to hear his high pitched squeals of laughter and utter joy.

Niall is curled up on the floor with Micah watching him play with everything in his hand's reach. When he realizes that his favourite toy is out of his gasp, Niall watches him pull himself onto his knees and slowly put one hand out, followed by his knee and other hand. With wide eyes she watches him crawl further than he's gone before. He is halfway across the room before he's reached the object of his attention and he overbalances and rolls to his back, kicking his legs up playfully as he sticks the truck into his mouth and babbles to the air around him. 

With her phone in hand Niall calls the Gallery to tell Zayn about Micah's newest adventure. She'd expected the other woman to be home by now since Zayn had told her at breakfast she'd booked half a day off and would be home early for dinner. In the past eight months since Micah had been born the gallery had seen a few changes. One being that Zayn had promoted Perrie to a position that saw her take over a Supervisory role at the Gallery. Zayn wanted more time at home, wanted to prepare herself for when she would need to take time off when they wanted to start for their next child. Perrie, in the few years that she'd worked for Zayn, had shown to be a valuable asset to the gallery and in a few instances, had urged Zayn to take a few chances on deals and artists that had paid off considerably.

Niall smiles when Zayn's cell goes directly to voice mail. She leaves a quick message telling her she'll call her on the land line and to call if she gets this first. It's not until she's speaking to Perrie that Niall's feeling from earlier that something was going on is confirmed.

"Hey love," Perrie says lightly. "What's up?"

"Can I talk to Zee?" Niall asks. "I tried her cell but it's off." The feeling of sickness starts at the confused cough that Perrie lets escape. The other woman doesn't speak and Niall takes a few calming breaths. "Pez? Can I talk to Zee? Is she busy?"

"Uhhhh. Isn't she home?"

"If she was, I wouldn't be calling you." Niall keeps an eye on Micah as she waits for Perrie to speak.

"She ... Uhhhh, Niall? She left a few hours ago. Said she had a few errands to run and then was going home."

Niall hates how upset Perrie sounds and immediately regrets worrying her. "Oh, she probably got caught up with something then." She fights to keep her own voice even. "You know how she gets, buying things for Micah and then a few hundred pounds spent later she comes through the door...."

As Niall says it, the door opens and Zayn walks in with a smile on her face. 

"And here we have it," Niall says with a grin. "Sorry to worry you, she just walked in." She says her goodbyes and thanks Perrie. Niall's eyes widen when she sees Liam walk in with her, arms laden with a few bags.

"Who were you talking to?" Zayn asks, kissing Niall's cheek before heading over to where Micah is still sprawled on the floor. 

"Oh, no one." She looks over at Liam who is watching her carefully, as though he knows she was lying. Niall doesn’t want Zayn to think that she doesn’t trust her. She watches as he places the bags on the table and also heads over to Micah who is pleased to see visitors. Niall stamps down the hurt that he hasn't even said hello to her or acknowledged her beyond the questioning glance. She shakes herself enough to clear the cobwebs and looks at Zayn. "Where have you been?"

Niall doesn't miss the look that passes between Zayn and Liam at her question. She waits five seconds which turn into ten and then finally after about forty seconds of silence Zayn looks up at her. She's covering her hesitation by pretending to be focused on Micah but Niall knows this woman. She knows when she's stalling and she knows Zayn's nervous tics.

"I was at work."

"You told me you were leaving early."

"Oh. I ...did. Zayn looks up and Niall cocks her head to the side, her arms crossed over her chest. "What? Why were you calling me? Is something wrong?"

Niall looks at Liam who is shifting his weight from foot to foot, obviously uncomfortable. A number of scenarios flicker through Niall's mind and before she lets one thought take precedence she takes a deep cleansing breath and lets it out slowly. Finally she shrugs. "Nothing. Just wanted to tell you that Micah crawled halfway across the room today. It was too fast for me to get my phone so I could video it."

With that, Zayn has focused her attention back onto the crowing boy in front of her, kissing everywhere she can reach. Niall affords a glance at Liam who is blushing far more than he should. It's the fact that he won't meet her eye, that he is avoiding all contact with her that has Niall's curiosity piqued.

"Babe," Zayn says distractedly. Her eyes flicker up for a fraction of a section, meeting Niall’s gaze. "Did you shower today?"

Niall freezes. She was about to go to the kitchen and get something to drink when Zayn spoke. She slowly sniffs at her clothes before she looks over at Liam who has covered his face and turned around and snuck into the kitchen, as though giving them this moment alone. 

Zayn must see the horrified expression on Niall's face and she softens. "No babe, I'm not saying... I just think ... it's obvious you're upset about something. You'll feel better if you take a hot shower. Just relax for a bit."

"I'm not upset." Niall says. It's a lie, they both know this but she is aware that Zayn is trying to deflect the situation from where she’s been to something else. Niall though is getting more upset by the expression of pity she sees in Zayn's eyes.

"Okay, you're not upset."

"Don't patronize me."

"I'm not."

As though he feels the tension in the room, Micah starts to get fussy; squirming in the hold Zayn has on him. In that moment, Niall has made up her mind. 

"Fine. You think I need a shower, I’ll take a fucking shower." She storms towards the bathroom, slamming the door behind her. Her tears are hot in her eyes, streaming down her cheeks as she stands under the stream of water in the shower. It's as hot as she can take it, loosening up her muscles and working the aches she has just taken as part of her daily life lately. 

The walk from the bathroom to their bedroom is short, but not so short that she doesn't hear whispering coming from the living room.

"I can't keep lying to her" That voice is Liam. Niall's sure her heart breaks.

"It's not your choice," Zayn hisses. "And we're not lying."

"I don't like this Zee."

"Leeyum, do you trust me?" 

Niall holds her breath. She can just picture Liam nodding.

"Good. Just hold out a bit longer. You've been fine this long, what's a bit more time?"

Niall slips into the bedroom and gets dressed. She slips on a pair of skinny jeans and a nice shirt. She texts Harry asking if he has plans for the night. When he says he and Louis were planning on just getting dinner she asks if maybe she can join them. She needs to talk to him but it's private and no one else can know.

"Is everything okay?" Harry texts back. "I'm going to call you."

"NO. Don't call. Everything's not okay but no one is hurt."

"Come over. We'll get take away."

Part of Niall wanted to go out, get out into the real world but she knows that this idea is probably better. Especially with how upset she is, how angry Zayn and Liam's conversation has made her. She tells Harry that she just needs to get Micah ready and they will be on their way.

Her hand is surprisingly steady as she applies a thin layer of makeup. It's just enough to be subtle and give Niall the confidence that she's been lacking lately. She hates to admit, but taking a shower and getting dressed, doing these normal everyday things has made her feel better. When she's ready, Niall takes a few deep breaths before heading to the front room to where Zayn and Liam are curled up on the couch with Micah between them.

Niall doesn't fail to notice the surprise on both of their faces. She knows that they expected her to just put on a fresh pair of pajamas after her shower. She's dressed to go out and that surprise makes her feel strong. She approaches and holds her hands out. 

"I'm going to get him ready."

"Uhhhh, babe? What are you doing? Why are you dressed up?" Zayn sits up straight, handing Micah over.

Niall looks down and scoffs. "This is hardly dressed up. It's a pair of jeans and a tee."

"But considering your normal daily attire is..."

"I know how shitty I always look Zayn, thank you for reminding me." Niall snaps. She ignores the stunned expression on Zayn's face and how Liam's eyes widen. For strength she kisses Micah's cheek and breathes in his scent. His weight in her arms steadies her and she smiles against his cheek. "We are going to Lou and Harry's for dinner. His uncles haven't seen him in ages."

"But..." Zayn scrambles to stand up and follows Niall into Micah's room. "I thought we... get dinner..."

Micah is dressed in freshly clean clothes when Niall turns to Zayn. She doesn't like seeing Zayn so lost, so confused but there is a light in her eye, a spark that reminds her of the conversation that Zayn doesn't realize she overheard. 

"Our son and I are going over to Harry and Louis'," Niall repeats. "You are more than welcome to come." She stalks out of the bedroom towards the table where they left Micah's travel bag the last time they had gone out.

"I thought we'd have a night in. I'm tired and wanted to relax..."

"Well then you can have a night in with Liam." Niall turns and flashes him a forced smile. "Oh and hello Liam. You must have gotten caught up and forgot to say hello when you arrived. Too much on your mind I suppose. Maybe that's what you need too, a relaxing night in. I'll leave you both to it."

She stalks out of the flat without a look back. She's got Micah fastened in his car seat and is turning the car on when she sees Zayn rushing through the door, barefoot and furious.

Niall is nearly hysterical by the time she reaches Louis and Harry's house. She's met by Louis who is waiting on their porch for her. He rushes down to where she's parked and reaches in to unfasten Micah. "Hello love,' he says softly. Niall assumes he's talking to her son and is surprised when she looks up and he's focused on her. "Are you okay?"

Niall shakes her head.

"Didn't think so. Zee just called having a right strop. Was on the phone with Harry, he hung up which didn't sit well."

Niall can't help the laughter that bubbles up. She watches Louis' face brighten at her reaction. 

"There's a girl. I don't like seeing you upset. Smiling Nialler is much better than crying Nialler.""

"Oh Lou."

Louis pulls her into his arms and they embrace around Micah who is focused on Louis' glasses and trying to put them in his mouth. 

"I'll take care of Bean. You go in and talk to Harry. When you're ready, we will order some take away and everything will seem better."

Niall finds Harry in his bedroom, sitting on the edge of the bed with his head in his hands. "Is she coming?" Niall asks by means of a hello. Harry looks up, relieved to see her. 

"No. At least not yet. She doesn't know what's wrong and I told her that she won't find out if she comes over and starts to yell at you. Her best way of making sure you're okay is to let me have some time with you."

"So I'm supposed to tell you so you can call and tell her? If I wanted her to know right now, I'd have told her myself."

"Babe," Harry stands up and approaches, holding her close. "Forget about her for right now. What is wrong? Tell me, I'm not going to tell anyone anything that you don't want me to." Niall watches as he steps back and takes in her appearance and grins. 

"What?"

"You just ...you look good. I mean, you always look good but you look really great." He puts his hands on Niall's hips and squeezes before cocking his head to the side. "You're back at pre Bean weight. I think that you've even lost more weight than you gained."

Niall blushes and pushes her way past Harry to sit on the bed. "You don't have to lie to me."

Harry shakes his head. "No babe. You've lost weight. You're always wearing such baggy clothes that I hadn't noticed it. That's why you probably don't even realize it." He curls up on the bed next to her, the two of them facing each other. Niall takes a deep breath before sighing.

"I think that Zee and Liam are cheating on me." 

Harry goes completely still beside her and Niall looks directly at him. "Haz?"

"That's a serious accusation Niall."

"I know what I heard." She watches Harry choose his words very carefully. Too carefully if she's being honest. Niall's eyes narrow and she glares at him. "What do you know?"

Harry breaks from the trance he's in and shakes his head frantically. "Oh no. Don't even. I don't know anything. You know I would tell you if I did. If I even suspected it." He takes a few moments to clear his thoughts. "Niall, are you absolutely sure?"

She tells him the events of the day. About how Zayn told her she'd be home early and then didn't come home right away. She told him about what she'd witnessed between her and Liam when they came home. How certain things over the past few weeks were starting to add up. Every single observation, every worry was laid out for him. And then she told him of what she overheard coming back from the bathroom.

Harry looked stunned. He looked sick to his stomach.

"That is a very serious accusation," he repeated softly. "You need to be absolutely sure."

"I'm not sure about anything," Niall admits softly, looking deep into his eyes.

"This affects so many people Ni," Harry reminds her. You, Zee Micah. Not to mention Liam and Sophia."

Sophia hadn't even entered Niall's mind. Her eyes widen in shock, her mouth dropping open wide. "Oh my god, Sophia! I didn't even think about her."

Their conversation is interrupted by a knock on the bedroom door, punctuated with shrill screams. Louis pokes his head in apologetically. "I thought maybe a bottle would help but he is inconsolable. Clean nappy, doesn't want a bottle. Even my singing isn't working."

Niall laughs through her tears, motioning for Louis to join them. "Sorry babe," she coos once she has Micah in her arms. He's still crying but it's lessening considerably until finally he's drifting off with his head resting comfortably on Niall's breast.

"Just needed his mum," Louis smiles from his position that he has resumed at the door. "I'll order some dinner? Come out when you're ready." 

They're left alone and Niall loses herself in the rise and fall of her own chest, watching Micah sleeping soundly. She looks up at Harry who is watching her fondly.

"Can I ask you something Ni?"

Niall nods as she presses her lips to the crown of her son's head. Her gaze meets Harry's and she lets him wrap his arms around her in a comfortable embrace.

"Do you honestly think Liam and Zayn would do that? I mean, put aside what you heard today. Put aside coincidence and circumstance. Think about Zayn and think about Liam." 

Niall does what Harry has asked. She focuses on Zayn first, thinking about her when they'd met. Since they met and then since Micah has come into their lives. She then focuses on the image of Liam she has in her mind. She can't think about Liam without her mind immediately turning to Sophia. Tears spring to her eyes and she knows she's trembling in Harry's arms. She looks up to see endless patience in his gaze. There is understanding and love in the green depths.

"Now. Do you honestly think that either of them are that type of person? Do you think that either of them could do that to you? To each other?" 

She's about to speak when Harry shakes his head and stops her.

"No. Don't overthink this. You're tired. You're overwhelmed and you know that is a factor in how you're feeling. What does your gut tell you?

Niall shakes her head. "No."

"No...."

"No, I don't think they could do this to me. To Micah or Sophia." Harry smiles and gives her a nod. She groans as she buries her face in Harry's chest. "Then what is going on? They said it's been going on for this long, what's a bit longer? There is still the fact that they're hiding something from me. What?"

"You're going to have to ask them love," Harry admits apologetically.

Although preoccupied for the rest of the night, Niall finds that this outing, as small as it has been does wonders for her state of mind and her mood. By the time she gets home, she's smiling and feeling lighter than she has in a long time. Even the sight of Liam passed out on the couch isn't enough to bring her down. She sneaks into Micah's room effectively sliding him into his pajamas and into his crib without waking him. The sight of Zayn curled up on her side of the bed makes Niall's chest tighten. Zayn has made herself into a ball, as small as she can and is clutching her pillow in her hands. Niall slides into the bed as gently as she can so as not to wake the other woman up.

When Niall's eyes open the next morning, she's surprised to see Zayn already awake. Awake and watching her with cautious eyes. Niall yawns and gives Zayn a sleepy smile. "Sorry I came in so late last night. We lost track of time and you know how Harry is with his indie music. Always one more band you just have to hear."

Zayn doesn't smile. Her face doesn't show any type of reaction and Niall's stomach flutters. "Are you okay?" Zayn asks softly.

Niall swallows thickly as she nods. "I am now. I’m sorry about last night. I just needed some fresh air. Didn't realize how much being cooped up has affected me. I shouldn't have taken it out on you."

"No, it's okay. I just. We worry about you and..."

"We?"

"Me and Leeyum. We were really worried last night."

Niall rolls over and focuses on pasting a smile on her face. "Well you both don't have to worry about me. I'm sure you have better things to think about."

"Niall!" Zayn gasps. "Why would you... how could you even say that?"

"It's true, innit?" She pauses for a moment and pictures Harry's face in her mind. Hears his voice asking her if she really thinks that Liam or Zayn would hurt her intentionally. She knows they wouldn't, but they are. She turns to Zayn and frowns. "I'm sorry, you don't deserve that." She walks out of the bedroom to head to Micah's, surprised he hasn't woken yet. She's not prepared for the sight of Liam standing in their kitchen shirtless with a towel over his shoulder, Micah in his arms.

"Zee, do you have a shirt I can wear? Micah burped and now I have vomit on mine."

When he sees Niall standing before him, Liam immediately blushes and freezes. His eyes search past her as if looking for Zayn, trying to avoid Niall entirely. Niall looks down and frowns. She's wearing a pair of capri jogging pants and a tee shirt. Nothing at all that would make her indecent, not that he hadn't seen her in less clothes with no problem.

"Leeyum?" Zayn calls as she enters the room. She has one of his old tee shirts in her hand. The tension in the room is so thick it's nearly stifling. "Is this okay?"

Liam clears his throat and nods. He looks relieved that they're not alone any longer and that thought enrages Niall. She looks back at Zayn who is glaring at Liam. They're having a silent conversation with one another and Micah's laughs are the only noise in the room.

Niall steps back and looks from Zayn to Liam and back again. She makes a rash decision. "Do you have plans for the day Zayn?"

Zayn looks up as though startled Niall is still there. "Uhhh, thought we'd go to the park. Take Micah out for some play time."

"Liam?" Niall sees Liam jump. He shifts his weight back and forth nervously. "Liam James Payne, is there a reason you can't bear to look at me?" Niall has crossed her arms over her chest. For a fraction of a second Liam looks at Niall and averts his eyes.

"Zee," Liam pleads.

"Liam," Zayn hisses.

"Fuck you both," Niall growls. She storms into the bedroom and pulls her clothes off, throwing them angrily across the room. She slips into a pair of yoga pants and tank before grabbing her backpack with her yoga mat and change of clothes. She storms out of the room, interrupting what looks like a quiet fight between Liam and Zayn. Ignoring the two adults in the room, Niall heads over Micah who has since been put in his baby bouncer and is playing happily, unaware of the tension in the room.

"Baby boy," Niall says gently. "Mama is gonna go out for a bit. Maybe do some yoga to expel this nervous rage. Okay? Be good for Ammi and Da. I'll see you tonight."

"Niall," Zayn says roughly. "Don't you dare just walk out of here."

"Watch me," Niall spins around angrily. "You're hiding something. Zee, he can't even fucking LOOK at me. Hasn't done so in almost two weeks. Obviously something is up between you two. I don't want to be here anymore than either of you want me here. I'm going to go and give you and Micah some time together. Fuck, I’m going to give you and Liam and Micah time together. Go to the park. Hang out here. I don't care what you fucking do, just do it without me. I'll be home for dinner."

"Nialler." Niall pauses at the miserable tone of Liam's voice. She looks up to see him watching her, tears in his eyes. For a fraction of a second she reconsiders. Instead she shrugs.

"Too late Liam. Have a good day."

~*~*

The door doesn't slam like they're expecting. Instead it snicks closed almost silently. "Are you happy now?" Liam asks through the lump in his throat.

"ME?" Zayn yells. She's loud enough to startle Micah who takes his cue to start screaming as well, only his are joyful shrieks. "You can't be fucking normal? What is the matter with you?"

"I told you this wasn't a good idea. That it wasn't going to work."

They're yelling so loudly at one another that neither hears the knock on the door or the sound of it opening.

"Wow, I could hear you down the hall," Louis announces as he enters the living room. "Didn't even hear the door." 

Both Zayn and Liam are angry and frustrated. They bristle at the cocky smirk on their friend's face.

"What do you want Tommo?" Liam growls. He runs a shaky hand through his hair and fights the urge to just punch something.

"I want a lot of things Payno," Louis admits. He's bent down to pick Micah up and rocking him gently, kissing everywhere the little boy will let him reach. "I want to thank whoever invented Yoga because they have improved my sex life about ten thousand percent with how bendy Harry is. I want to be flexible enough to be able to suck my own dick, just to say that I can. I want sixth form girls to pick a book other than Twilight to do their book reports on for once. Just once Liam, just once." Louis shakes his head sincerely, pacing the length of the living room with Micah in his arms.

"Lou," Zayn warns.

"But mostly what I want is to know what the fuck you two are doing. I know you know Niall came to the house last night. Was a right mess by the time she got there. Now, because I'm aces at eavesdropping I know what she thinks is going on. And I know what I think is going on. I just want to know what you're both playing at.” He pauses for a moment as though weighing out his next words. “Are you two fucking?"

Louis watches Zayn's face turn into a mask of shock while Liam looks confused.

"Excuse me?" Zayn shrieks.

"Are you two fucking?" Louis repeats in a gentle voice so as not to worry the boy in his arms. 

"Why would..." Liam starts to ask before he is cut off by Zayn.

"Fuck. Is that what Niall thinks? That we're...." She points to herself and Liam. 'She..."

"No. I didn't say she did. I mean if she did think that, I wouldn't be surprised because you're both doing a fucking great job at acting like you're fucking behind everyone's back."

"Stop fucking cursing in front of my kid Tommo," Zayn yells. She looks over at Liam who has sat himself down on the couch and is looking at the door longingly. It’s clear that all he wants to do is bolt out.

"She ... and I ... fuck. FUCK." He's up in an instant and sliding the tee shirt that Zayn had placed on the table over his head. "I need to talk to her." Liam turns to Zayn and glares at her. "This is your fucking fault. You. Now she hates me and she thinks I would ..."

"She doesn't think you're cheating," Louis says loud enough to stop Liam but not to further scare Micah. He kisses the toddler softly and brings him into his bedroom, setting him in his crib with a dummy in his mouth. When he returns both Liam and Zayn are hissing at each other, the words nearly unintelligible. "She doesn't think you're cheating," Louis repeats. When he has both of their attention he sighs. "It crossed her mind but Harry and she had a talk about it last night and she knows you wouldn't. She knows both of you wouldn't, but it's clear something is going on and that's what is upsetting her. That you’re both hiding something. Are you hiding something?"

Zayn is sitting on the couch with her face in her hands. When she looks up, it's clear to Louis and Liam that she's trying to hold off the tears that are threatening.

"Oh my god," Louis asks. "Is everything okay?" For a moment he is worried that it's something serious. He knows how much Zayn loves Niall, how she would never do anything to hurt the blonde. But this reaction is not what he was expecting.

Zayn gives a shrug and Liam pulls her close. He looks up at Louis and groans. "It's fine. We're fine. They're fine. I just…”

Louis holds up one hand and crosses the room. He sits on Zayn's other side and cups her cheeks in his hands. “Are either of you dying?” He asks, giving a sigh of relief when Zayn shakes her head. "You need to talk to her then," he says firmly. "She is freaking out babe. And I don't blame her."

Zayn, through her tears looks at Louis and nods. "I know. I just didn't want ... I wanted it to be perfect."

"Oh Zee," Louis kisses her forehead gently. "Call her. Talk to her. Please."

Zayn takes her phone from Liam who is holding it out for her. She waits for Niall's message to click in and leaves one of her own, asking the blonde to call her as soon as she gets it. And if she doesn't want to call, to please come home.

"Will you be okay?" Liam asks softly. He doesn't want to leave Zayn alone, not like this but knows that she has to speak to Niall alone. He gets a nod and a shaky smile in return.

"I will Leeyum. Thanks."

"Call me?"

Zayn nods again. She bids Louis and Liam a goodbye and heads in to check on Micah who is standing up in his crib, watching the lights from his night light reflect on the walls. Once she has pulled him out of the bed and settled them comfortably on a nest of blankets in the living room with a movie softly playing Zayn lets herself relax.

It's nearly an hour later that Niall returns, walking gingerly into the flat. It's not until her eyes meet Zayn's that either takes a breath. "Had the phone off for Yoga," Niall says apologetically. "Just got the message and came straight home."

"I'm glad," Zayn answers. She pats the blankets next to where Micah is sprawled out, sleeping comfortably. "Come sit."

"Gonna shower first," Niall motions towards the bathroom. Zayn shakes her head.

"No, please don't. Just come down and sit with me."

The mood is thick between them, awkward like it's never been before. Niall is trembling and Zayn hates the uncertainty she sees in the blonde's eyes. She takes a deep, cleansing breath and sits up. 

"I want to get pregnant," Zayn says in a rush. Her own eyes widen as she sees Niall's jaw drop. "I want us to start trying for a baby."

"But..." Niall looks at Micah sleeping soundly beside them and looks into Zayn's eyes.

"I know you said you wanted to wait until he was talking and walking and older, but I don't want to wait. I want ... seeing you with him... him being here? I want another one. I want to start as soon as you're ready, but I'm ready. I'm so ready."

Niall sees the tears pool in the corner of Zayn's eyes. She crawls over Micah to sit in Zayn's lap, wrapping her arms and legs around her body protectively. 

"You're going back to work soon and I just don't want to wait. Please, don't hate me. I know I'm ..."

"I don't hate you babe," Niall sniffs into Zayn's throat. "God I thought ..."

"Leeyum wanted us to tell you right away but I wanted to get some tests done. Wanted to surprise you and do this whole romantic proposal but he's such a twat and can't lie to save his life. Felt so guilty..."

"Thought you didn't want me anymore," Niall confesses with a hiccup. "Thought you were leaving me for Leemo."

Zayn blinks back another round of tears and strokes Niall's hair affectionately. "God no. Never." She stands up and tells Niall to wait before she disappears into the bedroom. She returns a few moments later and holds up a box. Once they're comfortably wrapped around each other again Zayn opens the lid. She pulls out a day planner that she'd been using the past few months, documenting her period start and finish dates. There were envelopes inside, results of bloodwork that Zayn had gotten done to make sure she was healthy. She'd started taking vitamins that the doctor had recommended to prepare herself for the baby she was hoping to be carrying sometime soon.

"I didn't .... God I never imagined," Niall says crying. She flips a few pages and sees colour coded notes. "What is this?"

"Well," Zayn says with a smile. "Green is the best time for us to do it according to projections of the next few months. My period is due here," Zayn points to the Friday of next week. "So it would most likely be done this day and then Leeyum would abstain these five days and we would do the procedure this day." She points to a day that has a giant smiley face on the calendar. She flicks through to the next month and points again. "If this is too soon, this is what we think next month."

"Zee," Niall says starting to cry again. "I just didn't expect this."

"I know, and it's all my fault," Zayn admits. 

Without thinking, Niall picks up her phone from the table beside them and dials a familiar number. When he answers, Niall's voice catches.

"Can you please come over? Now?"

Liam promises to be there as fast as possible. They’d taken a break for Niall to go to the loo and put on some clean clothes. He arrives when Niall is walking back to the living room from the bathroom. There is a knock on the door and Niall, being already up, answers it to find a very tired and worried looking Liam on the other side.

"Nialler," he chokes out. Niall has never seen him look so broken. Her heart shatters at the sight and she pulls him in before wrapping herself around him. "God I'm so sorry."

"Oh Leemo," she says through her own tears burying her face in his throat. 

"Haven't called me that in weeks."

"Haven't looked at me or talked to me proper in weeks," Niall counters. She gives a soft yelp as he reaches down to lift her up, wrapping her legs around his waist as she holds on to him for dear life.

"God, what happened? You weigh barely anything," Liam notes as he carries Niall across the room and manages to sit them both down on the floor beside Zayn who is stroking Micah's hair lovingly. Niall only shakes her head and buries her face in Liam's chest.

"Niall?" Zayn asks, stroking her girlfriend's back.

"Just thought maybe ... well I'm disgusting right? So tired and haggard. Fat from the baby. Wanted to look good, thought maybe you'd... Been exercising more, eating better."

"Oh babe," Zayn coos as she pulls Niall close to her. "No. You're perfect how you are. Love you so much."

Liam waits for the two to break their kiss before he presses his lips to Niall's temple. "Did she tell you?"

Niall nods with a grin on her face. 

"And?"

"How's two weeks?" She says softly. Niall looks up at Zayn and then Liam. "I want to start as soon as possible. Don't want to wait."

Her words are cut off by Micah's loud wails. Liam looks down to see Niall and Zayn wrapped up together, whispering softly to one another. The sight of them together, their faces close enough that when they speak their lips brush has his chest constricting. 

"I'll get Bean sorted out," he tells them both. They look at him with appreciative smiles. 

"Thanks Leeyum," Zayn says as she runs her fingers through Niall's hair. She knows that the blonde hasn't been sleeping lately, and Zayn knows that she's the reason for that lack of sleep. "We're gonna...."

"Go in. Take a nap. I've got him. We're gonna spend some dude time together." Zayn takes Micah for just a moment, kissing him affectionately while Niall pulls herself off of the floor. She too gives their son a kiss before approaching Liam.

"I'm so sorry Niall," Liam says again. He pulls her close and hugs her as tightly as he can. "I love you so much, I'd never do anything to hurt you."

Niall looks up into Liam's eyes. She can't stop the fond smile that cover's her mouth. "I know Leemo," she says. "I love you too." When she pulls back she grabs his ear roughly and tugs. "You do that to me again though, I will have your balls."

Zayn laughs at the yelp of fear that results.

"Yes ma'am," Liam responds. 

"Good boy Leemo." Niall pats Liam's cheek affectionately, a clear warning in her eyes.

It's when they're wrapped up in one another in bed that Zayn fully relaxes. She hadn't realized just how much keeping these secrets from Niall would affect them. How much it would affect Niall. 

"You're my world Niall," Zayn admits softly. "You have to know that."

"I do,"

"Want to have another baby with you. Want us to get married."

Niall's eyes snap open and she looks at Zayn who is watching her in earnest. "You..."

Zayn nods. "I want us to get married. Will you? Marry me?"

"Are you asking me for real?"

"I'll get you a ring tomorrow. Right now, fuck let's go. I want..."

"Yes," Niall squeals and giggles. She rolls them so that she's straddling Zayn and kissing everywhere she can on her face. "I want to marry you. Yes. YES yes yes."

"Yes," Zayn breaths against Niall's mouth.

Niall nods. "Yes."


End file.
